by Paige Nickel
The best way to share your status is not on Facebook. It’s not on Linkedin. They’re fine for what they are, no doubt. But nothing is better than sharing your status face to face, live, in person. Actual human interaction. It is an around the clock anywhere activity. A lot of the time, these interactions are with people we know, and some of the time with people we don’t, and it’s those folks who become our friends, colleagues and potentially, clients. Getting to know people in all different types of social situations sometimes takes a little luck, a little effort and often times takes a few well rehearsed mingling techniques.
Going to your kids soccer match? Make it a goal to say hi to the other parents, the refs and coaches too. Waiting in line at your local coffee shop? Say hi to your neighbors, and chit chat. Heading to the gym? Take a minute to say hi to some people you see there regularly. Break the ice, mingle a bit. Mingling isn’t just the domain of business events and cocktail parties by any means.
There’s a Formula
Mingling can help create new relationships, build on existing ones, and ultimately, increase business. And there are ways to mingle that will help drive some prospects your way, expand your circle, introduce yourself to new people, and stand out in a positive way. Meeting new people is good for you, and what’s good for you is good for your business, right?
Let’s be honest, mingling does not come easy for some people. But there’s hope! The reality is, people who are really good at mingling may not have been so great when they started. Some, many actually, have a system or a formula, and it’s not that difficult. The trick is to keep it simple, practice, and don’t put pressure on yourself.
So, what works? What are some of the go-to tips and tricks for mingling? Below is a kind of formula for mingling. It’s not a word-for-word answer to every situation, but if you follow the steps, and adjust for your audience, you’ll start to see that mingling is like a dance. How well you dance is where the practice comes in.
Strike up A Conversation – Easy, right? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. Consider the atmosphere. If you are at your kids soccer game, you probably don’t want to start out with ‘is it just me or is it cold in here?’… that’s just weird. But you could ask about the game, point out your kid, ask which one is theirs and take it from there..
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How about that coffee shop neighbor? Why not be honest and tell them that you come in to the shop every day, look over the menu board as if you’re gonna make a choice, and then order the same thing. Every. Damn. Time.
And try and follow up with open ended questions. When you’re talking to the other dad at the soccer game who just pointed out his kid, ask him how his kid likes soccer, or if he plays any other sports? That coffee shop neighbor? Why not ask them what they order? They might inspire you to actually change up your routine!
Of course, if you are at an event designed for networking, the dynamics are a bit different and compressed. At an event like a business conference, there is nothing stopping you from walking up to a group and introducing yourself directly. You can jump into conversations at events easier and participate easier without pressure because that is what these types of events are made for.
If you have to be the one to start the conversation, consider the conditions. If it is a major event with people from across the country in a new town, ask if anyone has a recommendation for a nearby restaurant for dinner. Why not invite them to join you, you might get a couple of hours with a small group of potential connections.
If it’s a local gathering, you might focus on a common event, like the presentation you just saw, and ask what their thoughts are on the topic or the speaker, maybe ask if they agree with the points made. Again, the goal is to spark some back and forth, and these little insights can lead to bigger conversations.
Create a bond – This is not some sacred covenant we are talking about. You don’t need to be blood brothers. What this means is that a good connection is based on some deeper connection. A bond. And that bond might be very simple to start. At a cocktail party? Ask someone if they tried the bacon sausage things and then show them where they are. They say food is the fastest way to the heart, and what could be better than bonding over bacon?
Guys who like sports have the easiest bonding topic of all. Sports. It’s almost too easy. Even if you root for rivals, the game itself will be the starting point. ‘How about those Wolverines’ can meet with approval or a roll of the eyes, but it probably won’t be met with a blank stare.
At Business and Networking events, bonds are probably going to be made over the topics relevant to the subject of the event. Before events like this, you might want to research and read. Try a minimum of 3 blogs by industry leaders, and check out any relevant recent news events. (I like to search Google News). Keeping your topics fresh, intelligent and informed will certainly make a good first impression. Introducing news that no one heard can be a great moment as well. (Word to the wise: stay away from politics and religion…unless it’s a polito-religious event.)
Exchange Contact Information – Be sure to exchange business cards. Business cards are quick to exchange, have all the relevant info you need, and they put something in the hand of the person you are talking to, (and vice versa). It’s a small but tangible validation of your efforts.
One trick that has always served me well is this: As soon as I get to a private space for a quick minute, I write a couple of lines on the back of the card I just got mentioning the date, the event and a topic point that we discussed. Then, when I’m back in the office connecting to the people I met, I have a specific point to mention in my email or letter. That quick note taking exercise helps me to remember the conversation, and more importantly the person too.
Exit the Conversation with some grace – Mingling isn’t a commitment to the person, it’s a commitment to the people. Meeting lots of people is the start. Meeting lots of the right people is the goal. Respect the time you have and feel free to move on after a few minutes. Having a few exit lines up your sleeve can help “It was great talking to you, I hope we meet again,”. “I hope to make it back around to you before the end of the night, let’s meet for some of those bacon sausage things…” Or, if you are completely stuck, grab the closest person and get them involved in the conversation to make your escape. The goal is to keep your time commitment to any one group low so you can spend time with the ones you find the most compatible.
Wash Rinse Repeat
When you use these steps (Meet People, Find A Bond, Exchange Contacts, Exit Gracefully) you can get around the room like a pro. Practice makes perfect, and not every one uses the same methods, but consider trying out these techniques to keep you mingling, making connections and having fun.
Mingle Bells
The Holidays are the most ‘mingly’ part of the year. The chance to load up on contacts and potential business for the new year presents itself at every turn. Christmas parties, company parties, New Years Eve parties, the list goes on. Each event will bring people that are connected together by business, friends or family, and each event has potential to connect you with someone who can someday be your client. Never turn down an invitation or pass up an opportunity if you are ready to network. Keep your head on your shoulders, drink enough to have fun, and enjoy every minute. And when the holidays are over, you might find yourself meeting with some of the people you met in 2014 to discuss business.
What’s your formula? If you have any tips to share, successes or any epic failures you want to share, let me know! After all, a great story is a great ice breaker.
Good luck, mingle well!